Not Enough
Jan. 27th, 2009 10:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shinonTitle: Not Enough
Fandom: Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
Characters: Rolf, I guess technically Shinon?
Word count: 358
Warnings: Angstish
Notes:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fe_drabble Challenge 10 - Change.
It’s different now. After years of waiting and worrying and wondering, things are different, finally, and he doesn’t want them to go back.
He doesn’t want them to stay this way, either. He hates killing and he’s not very good at it and if he told anyone they’d make him go back to sitting and waiting in the convoy and not knowing if everyone’s going to come back all right, which is the only thing that’s worse, and he knows because he’s been there before, and –
Mist used to be the one who worried that he’d changed, but he can’t even talk to her anymore. She’s always bragging about how she’s the daughter of the greatest swordsman ever so how could anything bad ever happen to her, and last night Boyd – Boyd! – yelled at her for being too reckless. No, Mist’s changed, but he hasn’t. He hates war.
He strings his bow and drives arrows into a dead tree until his arms cramp and his fingers bleed and Marcia comes by to tell him to take it easy and he almost spills everything to her on the spot. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t take it easy or tell her anything, and he keeps firing. He’s good at the shooting part. As long as the tree is still a tree and nobody’s life is hanging in the balance, he’s fine. Tomorrow or the day after, when the tree is a man and people are going to die…
He’ll have to be fine then, too. Otherwise what’s the use in having a weapon? Nothing bad is going to happen to Mist, because he won’t let it. Nothing bad is going to happen to Rhys, or Oscar, or Boyd, or anyone. Unless he messes up. He hasn’t changed as much as he wanted to. He has the power to protect people now. But he’s still afraid.
Uncle Shinon told him once what it means to be a mercenary. “You get up in the morning,” he said, “and then you kill people. After a while you go back to sleep.” But he never tried to stop Rolf from taking up the bow.
Fandom: Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
Characters: Rolf, I guess technically Shinon?
Word count: 358
Warnings: Angstish
Notes:
fe_drabble Challenge 10 - Change.It’s different now. After years of waiting and worrying and wondering, things are different, finally, and he doesn’t want them to go back.
He doesn’t want them to stay this way, either. He hates killing and he’s not very good at it and if he told anyone they’d make him go back to sitting and waiting in the convoy and not knowing if everyone’s going to come back all right, which is the only thing that’s worse, and he knows because he’s been there before, and –
Mist used to be the one who worried that he’d changed, but he can’t even talk to her anymore. She’s always bragging about how she’s the daughter of the greatest swordsman ever so how could anything bad ever happen to her, and last night Boyd – Boyd! – yelled at her for being too reckless. No, Mist’s changed, but he hasn’t. He hates war.
He strings his bow and drives arrows into a dead tree until his arms cramp and his fingers bleed and Marcia comes by to tell him to take it easy and he almost spills everything to her on the spot. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t take it easy or tell her anything, and he keeps firing. He’s good at the shooting part. As long as the tree is still a tree and nobody’s life is hanging in the balance, he’s fine. Tomorrow or the day after, when the tree is a man and people are going to die…
He’ll have to be fine then, too. Otherwise what’s the use in having a weapon? Nothing bad is going to happen to Mist, because he won’t let it. Nothing bad is going to happen to Rhys, or Oscar, or Boyd, or anyone. Unless he messes up. He hasn’t changed as much as he wanted to. He has the power to protect people now. But he’s still afraid.
Uncle Shinon told him once what it means to be a mercenary. “You get up in the morning,” he said, “and then you kill people. After a while you go back to sleep.” But he never tried to stop Rolf from taking up the bow.
